Pissy Mean Deranged Distressed

I know, I know, I’m not holding up my end on this blogging thing. This last week has been pretty busy with Halloween, my Mom still visiting, and a bout of the flu, but my main obstacle had been climbing out of the PMDD pit. There’s a pretty good Wikipedia article at that link if you want to know more. You can read the Dark Days of May posts if you want more on my experience with post partum depression and PMDD.

I know that its common to tease and joke about the mood swings that women typically go through with their changing monthly hormone levels. Trust me, I do it too. But its always with the awareness that it really is an awful time for many women. PMDD is the scary big sister to PMS. Most of the time, with the use of antidepressants to keep me out of the danger zone during the second half of the cycle, and a whack of herbs, vitamins and natural remedies, I make it okay through the last week of my cycle. Yes, I get insomnia for a few nights and I feel irritable, tired and blue. But its manageable. Occasionally, despite all the preventative measure, I get pulled into the pit and can’t get out. At those times I’m a bitch. I’m ultra sensitive, I’m impatient, I’m a bitch, I can’t sleep at all, I’m a bitch, and I’m sad. Did I mention I’m a bitch? Yeah. And, I find it very hard to reach out and connect. My willingness to engage the human race as anything but an observer is practically nil.

Most of the women who experience PMS/PMDD will tell you, its like being a split personality. At some level a part of yourself is looking at another part of yourself and saying ‘what the hell is wrong with you? why are you crying now? or why are freaking out about this trivial thing?’. You’re conscious of it going on but have very little control over it. Then, one day, your hormone levels shift and suddenly, you feel a weight lift off, the sun comes out, and the world is a much brighter place.

Anyway, its safe to come out and play with me now. Oh yeah, Pass My Shotgun will ya?  Kidding! ( I put it away for a couple of weeks)  🙂

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This entry was posted in Continuing Education, Depression, Girly stuff, More about me, me, me. Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Pissy Mean Deranged Distressed

  1. Doug says:

    I’m not afraid of you, Kyah.

    There’s chocolate and valium by the door. I’ll be in my truck.

  2. Meow says:

    Oh Kyah, what a rough time it must be for you. I guess I’m one of the fortunate ones, who don’t really suffer from PMS at all, apart form the usual bloating and craving chocolate. I’m glad you made it through. Take care, and have a great week … Meow

  3. Kyahgirl says:

    Doug-you made me laugh. But seriously, you’re a smart guy 🙂

    Meow-hi meow, nice to see you again. You are lucky! You can share my chocolate…Doug left some by the door.

  4. ames says:

    Hi Kyah, glad you’re out of the ‘pit.’ I’ve never heard of PMDD before, so I found that link very interesting. I get the split personality thing, because I’m really bad for that. Last month, I was laughing about it with a friend. I’d say something just horribly bitchy, way more than usual (lol) and then she’d look at me in horror and we’d bust out laughing. I can’t stop it, but I know it’s happening.

    Glad you’re back. 😛

  5. logoâ„¢ says:

    How do the herbs do for you?
    I was discussing homeopathic remedies with a friend and I would love more info.

  6. mailyn says:

    I know how you feel and all I can say is that if you ever need to vent we are here for ya! I do it a lot and it does help. 🙂

    *hugs*

  7. Kyahgirl says:

    ames-Thanks 🙂 glad I could help. I didn’t know about it either until I started having all these issues. If I can save someone some suffering then good!

    logo-I take Evening Primrose Oil, Vitamin B complex (heavy on the B6), Black Cohosh, Calcium/Magnesium, and chaste berry. Most of these are for mood and to help with the insomnia. There are some that are good for cramping/bloating etc but I don’t have any problems with that that ibuprofen doesn’t handle. Mail me if you want more 🙂

    mailyn-hugs back! thanks, that felt good.

  8. Margaret says:

    Being aware is the first step to feeling better and climbing out of”the pit”.Sounds like you have a prety good program going to help yourself.

    I am so glad that research is going on and that the results are helping women deal constructivly with PMS!
    very interesrting site.
    Hope the chocolate helps and things get back on even keel.

  9. Monika says:

    I so hear you.
    I never get these depressions though, I just get the god-wrenching pain along with my “more sensitive days”. A foot massage usually helps, which is odd…but I don´t care.
    I have said it beofre, and I say it again: sometimes Mother Nature deserves a slap!

  10. Miz BoheMia says:

    Oh the help that acupuncture and Chinese Medicine can provide you! I used to be that extreme with my PMS… probably was PMDD and then Loverboy started treating me and had me on a chinese herbal tincture he made and MAN did it work wonders! No bloating and no psycho bitch to boot!

    But what needs to be taken is not always the same for every woman… it all depends on what is off in the body, the history etc… and then something tailor made for the individual should be prescribed…

    Hope to say “You know where to find us!” soon! It sounds like you have made it out of some darkness and I am soooo happy to hear that! I know all too well the delusional state such hormonal changes can bring and man, it is no picnic!

  11. Kyahgirl says:

    Margaret-chocolate helps! so does black licorice 🙂

    Monika-I’ll be right there dishing out slaps with you buddy!

    Miz B-sounds like I need to come for a consultation. Let me know when you’re settled in 🙂

  12. neva says:

    Life’s a bitch, and so are we, eh, Kyahgirl? (well, not always… just sometimes)

    we’ve had these discussions, so i won’t bore you with my “sage” advice again… i think it’s wise for you to be taking Evening Primrose Oil *and* B6. and, of course, black cohosh is extremely effective, too! (all good stuff, and it all helps).

    i’m sure i’ve also mentioned before that my sister did her doctoral research on PMS (before they knew about PMDD, i guess) and, since i was one of her “subjects”, i learned a lot about my cycle, my mood swings, and all that other stuff. keeping the journal (for her data) provided me with a very interesting perspective, and a much better ability to cope (no doubt because i could see it coming, once i knew what to look for).

    apparently, knowledge isn’t only power, it’s comfort, eh? i say this because i know you’re amazing in that department, and as a result, are much more in tune to what’s “going on” in your body than most. i think it’s fantastic, and it’s one of the MANY things i admire about you, my friend. so glad to know you’re feeling more like yourself again!! xox

  13. Trina says:

    (((L))) That time of the month can be pretty ugly here at Chez Katymae. As you described, I’m often almost sitting outside myself saying, “Why on earth are you reacting that way? Get a grip!” But, of course, at that point I usually can’t. I feel downright evil when it’s bad, in the saddest and blackest way.

    Self-awareness helps me a good deal. I can usually warn Chris when it’s about to kick in, and nowadays I even have the wherewithal sometimes to clue him in when it’s going on (though I’m sure he already figured it out, he just wouldn’t dare say so LOL!). It helps some.

    I don’t think anyone is grading you on posting frequency (and shame on them if they are!) – I’m happy to read what you write when you feel like it :~D

    Love,
    T

  14. MJ says:

    After a truly horrid day last month, I now have to circle the upcoming bouts of PMS on the calendar so I can avoid everything and everyone on those days. Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde.

  15. Kristie(J) says:

    its like being a split personality. At some level a part of yourself is looking at another part of yourself and saying ‘what the hell is wrong with you?
    That is so what it was like with me. I really did feel like I was two people when I went into my rages. One the normal me who was looking at the other homicidal me and wondering what the hell HM was doing! Luckily it really seems to have settled down now. I get a bit sad, weepy and depressed a day or two a month, but that seems to be it anymore – thank goodnes!

  16. Kristie(J) says:

    OK – that didn’t work. I meant to blog quote part but instead I bolded everything. *sigh*.

  17. MJ says:

    Agrees with Kristie(J) about the split personality.

  18. Kyahgirl says:

    Neva-I know we’ve talked about this but I’m still glad you stopped by to talk about it again. you’re da bomb! ♥

    Trina-see how smart we are? I do the same thing…give fair warning…the secret to a happy marriage. Then the other half knows when to take an inordinate interest in things in the garage 🙂

    MJ-I do that too. A quick peek at the calendar often reminds me of where I’m at and when to double up the herbs and stuff.

    Kristie- that’s a really bold statement you made heh heh. I’m glad so many people get the split personality thing 🙂
    and I’m also looking forward to being an age when this nonsense begins to diminish.

    MJ-you’re being awfully agreeable, I must have caught you at the right time 🙂

  19. Mo'a says:

    I have a friend that has sufferd PMDD for years. She was dismissed by Dr’s that said to her that this is normal…..what can I tell you they were all men….recently a Dr….who is a woman….told my friend that she had PMDD….just knowing made her life better. It is so good that you are sharing this…many women suffer and don’t know what is happening to them.

  20. IDV says:

    I don’t quite know what to say other than: Phew! At least I didn’t come here while it was all kicking off. Glad the weight has been lifted.

    I never had to deal with those feelings back in the day – I left that body behind before the hormones set in.

  21. Kyahgirl says:

    Mo’a-I know there is still a lot of ignorance in the medical community. Its getting better but when you consider that half the people on the planet are female, there is remarkably little known and published about ‘us’.

    IDV-you are lucky indeed. Hopefully you never have to inhabit an adult female body with PMDD or even PMS!! oh, the horror! 🙂

  22. pia says:

    I went through hormone hell from age nine–two years before my first period–until this year

    I think I’m in menopause and love every second of it

    I have been having my first fever, right now, since I was a child—had the measles and other childhood illness’s without one

    I even basically love having a fever because it means my body is changing–my metabilism is speading up–not down

    I so understand how horrible it feels and wish that doctors had known much more about women’s bodies when I was younger

    We suffered needlessly in so many ways because we were the second sex–remember that expression?

    Was going to leave a comment on the link–but 33 is my magic number–didn’t want to jinx it—your post or you wonderful Kayahgirl who deserves to feel great

    And men–and women who never suffered from any of this still joke about it

  23. Sar says:

    Sometimes it’s a real bitch being a woman. Probably explains the bitchy side effect. Glad you’re feeling well again. 🙂

  24. g says:

    Hormones, rages, depression – check check check. Thankfully, my uterus had an uprising against me and so I had it removed two years ago and have never looked back. Of course, dealing with my “delicate imbalance” began shortly before then and continues but all in all, I’m doing pretty good. It’s good to have sisters – by birth and friendship to support and share all the glory of womanhood with (is Doug still in his truck? Good.) Seems like you’ve got some good advice – herbal and otherwise. Just wanted to check in and say that I can certainly feel your pain sister.

    Take good care ~ xox G

  25. CindyS says:

    I’m here late but hopefully you are off the ‘wheel of menstural fun’. Ugh.

    Luckily I only get that ‘second personality’ thing about one day a month and the minute I realize it’s happening I tell Bob only he can’t win because if he clams up or tries to avoid me I get hurt (isn’t it just a bag of fun!).

    I heard about PMDD a couple years back on Oprah and realized that I was blessed although, my friend who has no pain or anything with her period is super blessed! Seriously, I didn’t even know it was possible!

    I went to the Docs last week partly because my cramping was becoming worse again (really bad when I was a teen) so apparently I have to take 600 mg of Ibuprofen immediately before the pain hits. We’ll see if that works 😉

    CindyS

  26. Kellycat says:

    Naturally I had to weigh in on this discussion…

    I’ve just spent the past two weeks in chronic pain, so I’ve going back to the doctor for some super painkillers. Apparently there is nothing wrong with me, as confirmed by the multiple tests and hormone profiles I’ve endured.

    I honestly can’t tell anymore if the depression I feel during each month is induced by the hormones, or induced by the chronic pain which is induced by the hormones.

    Needless to say, my hormones are not on my Christmas card list.

  27. MJ says:

    Public service announcement to those suffering intense cramping/pain: See a specialist and get a laparoscopy to determine if you might have endometriosis. A lot of doctors are in the dark about this disease so you have to tell them about it.

  28. Adopted Grandparents says:

    Remember one thing. Hubby and the kids love you no matter how bitchy you get – they know its only temporary. We do too.

    Everyone knows that during this time you need your space and as long as everyone is aware and respects that need your OK. It will get better in time – just ask the adopted Grandmother.

  29. Barngoddess says:

    I want a hysterectomy…..

    I have cramps today. I never had cramps until after Wee One was born 3 years ago (to the day tomorrow!) Now I get PMS, awful dr.jehkyl mrs Hyde type stuff, horrible cramps, especially back cramp. I had bad back labor w/ Wee One.

    Before, I only had slight PMS now I have it full force for a week before my period-ack!

    I feel sorry for the people around me sometimes.

    It sucks.

    Not fair for us women…..

  30. SID says:

    I was always amazed how women living together always seemed to have their period on or about the same day.

    Does it happen with female bloggers too?

    *removes kitchen knife from back*

  31. Sar says:

    Psst Kyah – Party, my place, tomorrow!

  32. kyahgirl says:

    pia-wow, that’s a long time to suffer. and yeah, I’m looking forward to the end too! Hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Sar-us bitches have to stick together 🙂

    g-thanks sister. Yeah, I think Doug is still in his truck along with our two husbands, four children and three dogs!!

    cindy-hi. I’ve found ibuprofen to be the most effective thing too for pain. It works way better on me than Tylenol or ASA.

    Kelly-I figure anyone who names their blog after hormones is going to have an opinion on this topic. Glad to hear from you. I’m sorry to hear you suffer chronic pain though. That sucks.

    MJ-thanks for the PSA. You’re right about the endometriosis. Also fibroids are another big problem that don’t always get recognized.

    Adopted Grandpa-that was really sweet and supportive of you. I guess after 40 years with the Adopted Grandma you have a few battled scars eh? 🙂

    Barngoddess-I hear ya~,looks like you came to the right place.

    SID-you know, I’ve experienced that synchronizing thing myself. In highschool, I spent every day with a group of 12 other female prefects and by the end of the year we were totally in sync.
    Gee, that’s kind of a nice knife…wait a minute, that’s the relic from the river!!

  33. Al says:

    Don’t take this the wrong way, Kyah, but

    I
    enjoy
    being a
    boy.

    (We actually like playing with shotguns.)

  34. Kyahgirl says:

    Al-its ok, I don’t take it wrong 🙂 Just keep your dang hands off MY shotgun ok?

  35. weirsdo says:

    Sorry to hear about that, and glad it’s over.
    And to all the smug men out there who think they don’t have hormones, how come so many of you are in jail and/or slaves to porn?
    (Apologies to all non-smug men, and you can come out of your truck now, Doug.)

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