I know, I know, I’m not holding up my end on this blogging thing. This last week has been pretty busy with Halloween, my Mom still visiting, and a bout of the flu, but my main obstacle had been climbing out of the PMDD pit. There’s a pretty good Wikipedia article at that link if you want to know more. You can read the Dark Days of May posts if you want more on my experience with post partum depression and PMDD.
I know that its common to tease and joke about the mood swings that women typically go through with their changing monthly hormone levels. Trust me, I do it too. But its always with the awareness that it really is an awful time for many women. PMDD is the scary big sister to PMS. Most of the time, with the use of antidepressants to keep me out of the danger zone during the second half of the cycle, and a whack of herbs, vitamins and natural remedies, I make it okay through the last week of my cycle. Yes, I get insomnia for a few nights and I feel irritable, tired and blue. But its manageable. Occasionally, despite all the preventative measure, I get pulled into the pit and can’t get out. At those times I’m a bitch. I’m ultra sensitive, I’m impatient, I’m a bitch, I can’t sleep at all, I’m a bitch, and I’m sad. Did I mention I’m a bitch? Yeah. And, I find it very hard to reach out and connect. My willingness to engage the human race as anything but an observer is practically nil.
Most of the women who experience PMS/PMDD will tell you, its like being a split personality. At some level a part of yourself is looking at another part of yourself and saying ‘what the hell is wrong with you? why are you crying now? or why are freaking out about this trivial thing?’. You’re conscious of it going on but have very little control over it. Then, one day, your hormone levels shift and suddenly, you feel a weight lift off, the sun comes out, and the world is a much brighter place.
Anyway, its safe to come out and play with me now. Oh yeah, Pass My Shotgun will ya? Kidding! ( I put it away for a couple of weeks) 🙂