Kyahgirl’s House of Horrors

Tickersoid’s poodles were wondering about how I am groomed to look so nice. Well,basically, Kyahgirl tortures me on a regular basis.

The beauty of poodles (besides the fact that we’re smart, sweet, funny, energetic, and humble) is that there is never any shedding whatsoever. The downside of that is we require more regular care (haircuts). In my case, because I’m living in the house and now allowed on the couches and bed (sometimes if I’m sneaky) they insist on bathing me quite often.  I wish that blabbermouth breeder hadn’t told them I’m a water dog so don’t worry about bathing me too much!

Anyway, my Breeder, Elly, showed them the basics when I was a puppy. Kyahgirl would do my nails and trim me up a bit but when I was small,  they took me to a groomer.  As I grew, Kyahgirl became more confident. The humans bought a really good clipper and some other tools of torture.  By the time I was six months old it was costing them $70 every 6-8 weeks to have me beautified, plus it was a gigantic pain in the arse for everyone to travel to the groomers, have me spend the day there, get picked up at the end of the day.

Because Kyahgirl is so cheap thrifty she got serious about doing my grooming.  The payback on the cost of all the equipment (about $400) takes about 1 year.

What you need is pictured above:

  1. Oster A5 clippers,
  2. 1 –  4F blade for the body and legs.
  3. 2 –  #10 blades for the face, ears, tail, belly, and feet. (You should have at least 2 because they get hot and you have to change them out and let them cool so you don’t burn the victim subject.
  4. A slicker brush
  5. A dog comb
  6. Scissors (proper grooming ones)
  7. Goddamn ear hair pluckers Forceps for the ear hairs, (I am prone to ear infections so Kyahgirl ruthlessly plucks the hair from inside my ears. She uses the the long forceps pictured on the right by the blue bulb. She sometimes uses the bulb to wash out my ears. Something we both hate.)
  8. Dremel tool for the nails. (Kyahgirl swears that the Dremel tool is the best thing for trimming my nails. No bleeding, no accidental nicks on the quick.  I wish she’d take that thing out to the garage and build a bird house or something but that’s just me.  )

There are a couple of good articles on line on grooming. Here is one:

http://www.agt.net/public/diplomat/groom.html

http://www.avontipoodles.com/grooming.htm

Oh yeah,  she bought this book on ebay. Elly says its one of the best books on grooming there is, even though the dog on the front looks like an idiot. (Elly didn’t say that, I did). The book has excellent info on tools required as well as detailed technique. There are  a lot of fruitcake looking hairstyles in there which, thankfully, the alpha female hasn’t tried to inflict on me.

It takes her about 3 hours to do the whole works. Its about an hour to just do the short parts (face, ears, feet, tail, belly). Sometimes I get a treat. Mostly I just get hell for fidgeting too much!

Here’s a picture of me as a baby with my dam and siblings. I’ll be darned if I know which one of those sausages is me so don’t even ask.

Here are  pictures of my sire as a poof (that’s a show clip or lion cut), as a hunk (that’s called a Dutch clip).

Anymore questions?  I thought not, you’re all snoring now.

My work here is done.

Fondly,

Casper

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25 Responses to Kyahgirl’s House of Horrors

  1. shiftclick says:

    Casper! I’d love to see you as a hunk! But gosh, no poof – that makes me think of Uncle Piggy and Tazzy. And I can see just which sausage you are – your personality stood out even then! Thank you for sharing your personal life in such detail! Casper, the Wonder Dog!

  2. tickersoid says:

    Good Post.

    I knew they weren’t supposed to look like mops.

    Mine seem to drop hair all over the place.

    The puppies look so cute.

  3. Bess Dog. says:

    Casper! I know which one you were! One of the white ones!

    My Mum is always telling me that Border Collies and Poodles are the most intelligent dogs in the world, and then she says: but I got you.

    I don’t know why she says this but she does, every day, at the same time when she arrives home with my smaller parents and I am so pleased to see them back I try and get out of the cat flap.

    Lots of woofs and wags.

  4. spinny says:

    Yesterday I thought – nice dog.

    Today – I’m disturbed beyond belief. I think i must have a phobia of dogs with silly haircuts.

  5. surly girl says:

    good grief. couldn’t you have just got a hamster??

  6. Hey Casper

    Your grooming ritual sounds (and looks) like the Spanish Inquisition! It obviously works, though as you’re a very handsome young dog.

    Don’t let Kyahgirl give you a Poof cut! Insist on the Hunk one.

  7. Casper says:

    Thank you all for your comments. I like to pretend that its awful but really, I get lots of cuddles and such during the grooming so I’m ok with it.

    Bess Dog-you sound like a lovely girl. I would like to come to New Zealand to play ball with you someday 🙂 Nextt time your Mum makes that crack about Border Collies, wee on her foot. You don’t have to take that kind of abuse. We dogs have to stick together. Maybe we should start a group blog. If you like ‘dog blogs’, my sweetie Ariella, a Portuguese Water Dog does a terrific job.

  8. funny thing says:

    So let’s get this right.
    The poof is the one on the left with the ‘tache?

  9. cube says:

    This is why I have a German shepherd.

  10. Casper says:

    ah, funny thing, you are indeed a funny thing! 🙂

    cube-Hi-the trade off is in the vacuuming!When I had Belgians, I was wearing hair and eating hair all the time 🙂

  11. Karen says:

    pampered pooch, indeed!

    {woof, woof}

  12. Fuckkit says:

    You spent how much a week on dog grooming?? I don’t spend that much on me!
    Mind you, it shows.

  13. mig bardsley says:

    Nutmeg would like to know how you are persuaded to have your nails trimmed. Nutmeg himself is unable to stop himself turning into a raving eel-like monster when he sees nail clippers (or muzzles) approaching 😦
    As a result he does not have nice feet 😦

  14. mom says:

    Loved theCasper apperance and coments. playing ball with me is a sad experience why chase when the ball lands two feet away !G Mom

  15. mireille says:

    oh dear. no wonder your mistress was so appalled by the layers of doghair I have deposited in the humans’ car. *they’re so old and nearsighted they’re not even aware of it anymore.* I’ve seen pictures of you freshly groomed — you DO look wonderful. *mwah* *slurp* –Bucky

  16. The old man’s let me come on and comment. Hi. I’m Maizey. I’m a bit stupid shy>. I’m a four year golden retriever and I’ve got a pedigree and everything. Actually, two of my great-grandads were the same dog, which might explain why I’m so stupid shy. It’s to breed the characteristics back in apparently.

    Oh, the old man says ta ever so for the link, and not to get any fathery ideas because I’ve had my bits chopped out apparently. I don’t understand what he means.

  17. cube says:

    You’re right. The shedding is the worst.

    Just stopped by to wish you a Happy St Patrick’s Day. And to see if maybe, just maybe, you had Casper colored green 😉 Now that would be a sight.

  18. Meegan says:

    Wow, Casper, you spend a lot more time and money on your appearance than I do — I guess that’s why you are better looking than I am!

  19. Casper says:

    Hi Karen – WOOF!

    Hey Fuckkit-it was $70 every 6-8 weeks. Now its not much at all 🙂

    Hi Mig-She’s been doing it since I was a puppy and won’t take any nonsense. Quite alpha is our kyahgirl at times!

    hi Mom-I don’t care how far you throw it. Besides, you let me sleep on your bed, that earns you brownie points!

    mireille/Bucky- she loved her visit with you, in fact I was quite jealous of Bucky, the way she waxed on about him.

    Oh Maizey, I’m sure you’re not stupid! you should try blogging if you can get the old man to give you some more computer time 🙂

    Cube-happy St. Patrick’s day. Don’t be giving anyone ideas about green hair!

    Meegan, that can’t be true. So nice to see you, where have you been?

  20. tickersoid says:

    I’ve just seen your comment on Dirt Devil at FT’s.

    Blimey indeed.

  21. kyahgirl says:

    oh dear, that was too much eh?

  22. Ariella says:

    My AF clips me too, we are liking the Dremel tool tip!

  23. spinny says:

    $70 every 6-8 weeks is still a LOT more than I spend on grooming myself.

  24. Ok, where have you gone? Have I missed another web address move or something?

    I know you’re there, cos I’ve seen you commenting. Show yourself, woman!

  25. georgieandgordy says:

    We agree! It is not that much fun when our person grooms us. We do get lots of cuddles and treats afterwards. It is so hard for us SPs to be patient. SP grooming here is from $50 to $70 every 6-8 weeks at the groomers.

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